February 11, 2008

John told me once that often, just before he starts to notice changes beginning, he dreams about animals. He dreams about the soft underbellies of rabbits, the hot, metallic scent of lambs' blood, the ragged sound of a cow's hide tearing open, spilling out meat and organs. These dreams are not symbolic. Sometimes I wake up to the sound of him growling softly. This is often our first sign, telling us to walk softly, to take out our checklist, to be ready. It is the beginning of the time when John must not be viewed as a partner but as a predator.